The right shirt for the real you

The right shirt for the real you

Christmas has come and gone and once again my loving husband has given me a gift that he would quite like himself. Several years ago I was fortunate enough to be given a very expensive fishing rod and reel in my stocking, his face drained of all colour when I said that I had been thinking about taking up fishing and how it would be a hobby that we could both do together; I am still waiting for a fishing invite, although the fishing rod does now appear to have been extensively used. Of course I could retaliate by buying him something completely inappropriate like hair straighteners or an Iron, but I’m just not that petty. No, as expected I received a Liverpool football shirt, which I accepted with good grace and promised faithfully to wear whenever they play. I am sure I won’t be the only person in this predicament so I have come up with a few ideas on what to wear with what shirt.

In an ideal world we ladies would get to pick which team we would like to support, choosing a team with a strip that suits our individual shape, complexion and hair, rather than the rather unimaginative practice of supporting the team closest to your home.

Starting with Liverpool and the many other teams who play in red. Red can be a tricky colour to wear, if you have the slightest hint of fake tan, prone to flushes or blotches, Red can bring out the lobster in you. A common mistake when wearing red is to pair it with white or black, Red and Black can come across as tarty so be wary of Manchester United shirts. Big blocks of red can effectively be broken up by wearing see through patterned material such as lace or a string vest, over the top; If you are one of the few people who can wear red, then wear it, loud and proud and on its own.

Blue can be a problem colour for many, the darker shades like Rangers can give a washed out or pasty complexion. Avoid shirts from Chelsea, Everton, Rangers and Birmingham, plumping for a paler baby blue like Manchester City. The Man City shirt is the perfect top if you have blue eyes and blond hair and can be teamed with a variety of colours from white, pale green or yellow.

Barton Stacey green is a tricky one, and is a colour that many of us avoid for fear of getting it wrong. Always remember Blue and Green should never be seen, which is fortunate as Barton Stacey’s shorts are black. Many worry that green can come across as a little “county”, teamed with wellies and a Labrador this is definitely the case. Accessorise green shirts with strong patterns on a scarf or waistcoat, an unusually shaped pair of glasses or a hat with feathers.

Burgundy shirts like Aston Villa and West Ham on an olive skinned person can be absolutely stunning, although on the wrong skin tone it can be very ageing. Burgundy is a great alternative to black, don’t over accessorise and wear brown shoes if relaxing, black if you are out to get something done.

Orange is another tricky colour, much favoured by the Dutch. It should be avoided if you are sunburnt or have a puce complexion, however if you have a natural tan or are olive skinned with highlights in your hair, go for it. Team it with pink or brown and wear throughout the year. For a great effect, sit with hundreds of others in a similar shade of orange.

The yellow of Norwich and Watford is another tricky one ,but should always be considered. Like Orange it suits the darker skin and is a great one for coordinating with darker hair shades and skin tones. One of my favourite shirts is the Gold and black of Wolverhampton Wanderers, a warm rich shirt that suits most complexions.

White is a tricky one, Tottenham, Bolton, Fulham and Real Madrid have a huge following and all play in different shades of white. Some whites can leave you washed out, a look much favoured by Yvette Fielding while seeking out spooks with Derek Acora, other whites can give you a fresh look with a natural reflection to your face. Whites are best accessorised with another colour, and not cigars, shades and a barrow full of bling a la P Diddy. During my many hours on the touchline I have often thought that if some teams had opted for an off white or cream, it would have made the shirt far more wearable. Grey-white should be avoided at all costs, it just looks like you can’t work your washing machine.

Teams to avoid supporting are Celtic and Queens Park Rangers, not the shirt for the girl with the big bust. Wide horizontal stripes leave a big bust looking like a book shelf. If stripes are your thing stick to Sheffield Wednesday (blue and white) Both Milan teams, Inter’s blue and black for the day, AC’s red and black for the bedroom. Newcastle Utd (black and white) give that “bar code” look while Sunderland (red and white) suggest an impending hazard or highway maintenance and are best avoided. Squares of Blackburn Rovers, are best avoided at all costs.

Finally, if for some strange reason your man buys you a referees shirt be afraid, he is up to know good with ideas far beyond his station, no one in their right mind would wear a referees shirt in public, best kept for the bedroom where the red card definitely comes in handy and he won’t be paying too much attention to your skin tone or hair colour anyway,
So there you go, I believe that there is a shirt for most ladies out there, it may just take a little gentle female persuasion to get your man to change to the team that suits you.